It took me three seconds of recognition before I declined the follow-through of tossing my computer across the room.

I immediately felt like that scene from Disney’s Hercules where the painter scrubbed the fuck out of his painting when Hercules moved.

Instead, I took a deep breath and told myself, “Whatever is coming my way, I can handle.” I moved forward to read the email with a level reaction.

Besides, I had just had a prior anxiety attack that morning, and my lower back needed a break from the tension. During the first panic attack, once I could keep my chest from trying to escape my body, abandoning my stable mind for one last time, I questioned my participation in these attacks.

Circumstances are neutral, and ultimately it is our perception that determines what kind of experience we are having.

As I clicked on the email with big, threatening caps that could possibly end my therapy sessions, I saw something that would be a spit take in a small-town girl trying to become something rom com. It was a fucking bot responding to an old thread/email from April asking me to rate its service.

I had to rethink if my computer wanted to be near me as I attracted another thought to chuck it out of existence.

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What the flying fuck.

My frustration wasn’t with the email, though. It was, once again, toward my participation in these attacks that I create from my reaction.

Now, funny enough, this email situation made my collaboration clear because the moment I saw the email, I decided to proceed calmly.

And great thing I did because I immediately saw that it was just a response from an old thread. My insurance is fine. My therapy session is still happening. The experience got my storytelling mind going. I saw clearly what I was creating in my life.

Clarity.

Personally, as of late, I have felt like I’ve been running in circles and majorly self-sabotaging, which is essentially why I decided to join therapy. I really wanted to get to the root of my “problem” and create new behaviors to create a better timeline.

I am also a student and teacher of reality creation and consider that in every aspect of my life.

The insurance email showed me how easily I let what I see determine how I feel. What I see in the 3D tends to dictate how I am going to feel, meaning I would never have control over my inner world if it’s a pure reflection of my outer.

And the fundamental core understanding of reality creation is that your outer world is a reflection of your inner. I noticed the moment I made a decision about my inner world (to remain calm), and the situation simply followed suit and ended up being nothing to worry about.

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HELLO?

The situation wasn’t even real, and for an hour and a half I felt it deep in my body, producing heaviness and aching. Why? My perception.

My participation with the world I am actively creating was becoming abundantly clear, and that was the awareness I needed.

For months I have been consciously aware that our reality is created from how we feel and perceive, but it’s been a bit of a challenge embodying that in a world that functions the complete opposite.

It’s comical because I’ve always been that someone who doesn’t allow anyone or anything to control her. My freedom, above all, is my main priority and one of my greatest values. It’s why I became an entrepreneur. It’s why I travel down an unconventional path.

No one has authority over my reality.

But I was giving circumstances, which are reflections of our awareness—and awareness comes first—authority.

I was observing what I didn’t want and expecting something outside of me to change for me to feel at peace.

What a fucking trap! To feel bound to something outside of you in order to choose to feel a certain way. We have the power at every moment, and we constantly ask what it is that we need to do when it can be simple in understanding.

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The strongest, most confident, and most powerful people I’ve met are cool and light in expression. They believe in options and self-discipline.

No problem outside of you is bigger than your capabilities in reality, but your perception can convince you otherwise.

I hope next time you find yourself frustrated or feeling down, you remember this article and question your participation.

Not to shame yourself, but to give you agency.

And in that moment of questioning, I want you to remember you are the authority, and if you want something to change, be the fucking leader.

Inside out.

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I lightly brag about all of this to prove my “theory” of how time isn’t real. To be honest, it boggles my mind that people don’t understand how time isn’t real, but honestly, most people haven’t left their country, let alone their hometown.

From living in America, which has multiple different time zones, to traveling to Europe, which is eight to nine hours ahead of my Californian family, it became very apparent how fake time genuinely is.

I remember walking around Liverpool, UK, sunny as fuck at 9 p.m., and the day is just beginning for people in America. Yet everything is happening in the fucking now! Don’t you get it? Disregard all the logistics and scientific explanations of how and why we assign time to certain shit, but just like money, fully understand it’s man-made.

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So when people ask me, “How do you handle time when it comes to manifestation?” I say, time is also part of your manifestation.

The best way to get something you want now is to move like it is happening now.

The only person who creates the illusion is you and the pace you’re moving at. The best way to determine if you’re still in waiting mode is by determining the relationship you have with the gap between now and your desire.

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There are three levels to reality creation.

I honestly am starting to dislike the word manifestation because so many people have butchered the definition. When really, you can look it up and Webster says “obvious to the mind,” yet here are thousands of people still spewing outdated shit like, “You manifest from your subconscious.”

No, you don’t. You manifest from your awareness, but not just awareness of anything. You create your reality from awareness of your identity.

Okay, back to the three levels.

Lvl One - Beginning Mode

This is the level where everyone has discovered the secret by now and learned, “Oh shit, we can have whatever we want,” but through your thoughts! So people get obsessed with every thought. They are scripting and affirming like they’re fighting for their virginity in a jail cell. Now, I am not saying it doesn’t work. All thoughts form from ideas, but those ideas form from somewhere else as well.

I see reality creation like traveling. The desire is the destination, and the vehicle is the art of manifesting. Your thoughts are equivalent to a steering wheel. Cool, now turn that steering wheel with no gas. Please, turn the motherfucker.

Oh wait, you can’t because the steering wheel alone isn’t enough to actually move the car. So we arrive at level two: emotions.

Lvl Two - Accelerator Mode

Emotions are gas to our thoughts. Some believe that our thoughts come from our emotions, but I had an experience that says otherwise. According to Abraham Hicks, our reality is reflecting an emotional guidance system, and it’s a spectrum of emotions, but let’s dumb it down to two things. You either feel good or you feel bad, that’s it.

So when you feel good, you can only receive good-feeling thoughts. This is why positive people seem to be lucky to the average pessimist. They do their best to remain positive, and solutions will attract. If you are on the side of the scale of negative emotions like anxiety, fear, and doubt, like a frequency on a radio, you’re only in alignment to receive thoughts that reflect those emotions. It’s not that you’re not trying hard enough or not doing the right action. If you’re not feeling good, solutions are not available to you.

But we see moving cars all the time, and ironically, crashes occur statistically more in cars than airplanes. Gee, I wonder why?

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People drive recklessly. For some reason, driving is low stakes to them versus carrying an Airbus 500 feet in the air full of living souls. The identity of an everyday driver is different from the identity of a pilot. This is where self-concept shines like a star in the world of reality creation.

Identity is the kind of vehicle you’re driving. Most people wouldn’t treat a 100K car recklessly like they would an old Volkswagen (no offense, slug bugs).

Lvl Three - God Mode

Identity, aka self-concept, is how you manifest anything you want or don’t want with excellent speed and precision. The universe is a Xerox machine here to copy who you are. You don’t perceive the world objectively. You perceive the world through the eyes of the person. So who is that person?

Self-concept isn’t just affirmations or self-care, as in getting your nails done and facials. Identity is the whole damn vehicle, as in how do you fucking move? What are your behaviors? It is essentially acting.

People hear acting and think it means to pretend, but as some of us know, the best actors don’t make that shit feel like make-believe. If so, you wouldn’t be captivated by the performance.

One time, I was traveling on a manifestation experiment where I made money on the fly. I don’t wait until I have the money to go toward what I want, so I would pay for a one-way train ticket with no hotel, no money for food or Lyft (I don’t drive), but I had the belief that by the time I was off the train, I would have everything I need.

On the first few nights, it always works. However, back then I was manifesting on level two only.

It’s midnight in San Francisco, and I am sitting in a hotel lobby that is about to close. I’ve stayed there before, and it was a high-end, funky, creative spot in the heart of Union Square, where all the designer stores are located.

I had no money for a room.

I sat there at the table doing my best to figure out how to receive money. I was in low-key panic mode, but then I remembered emotions are everything. So I began to self-soothe and did whatever I could to be calm (this is the part where knowing yourself really helps). What soothes me may not soothe you, you know?

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So anyway, I was calm, sitting at the table, and a worker recognized me. I am dressed to the whole nine yards. I was sitting there with my shoulders back, fancy hat on, like I belonged because I do.

She asks me what is wrong, and I tell her some little white lie about my cards being locked, so I have no access to money.

In that moment, I accept that she will have to kick me out because most hotels cannot allow non-guests to be in overnight. She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes and then leaves.

I’m sitting there wondering what is going to happen next. She comes back with a few bags of chips, a water bottle, and a door key in hand. Not a hotel room key, just an actual key.

The kind worker leads me to a room in the hotel that is normally a playroom with a pool table and multiple chairs. She moves the chairs around for me to lay down and tells me I can stay in there till morning. I honestly was shocked. It wasn’t a room, but it also wasn’t outside in the cold either, and I have been kicked out of less fancy hotels for the same reason.

A year later, I was in the same situation. This time, I was escaping from an abusive family, and emotionally I was fucked. Safe to say I was living in the emotional spectrum of negative emotions for months.

I arrived at the same motel at the same time because of what happened last time I was in this situation, but this time my shoulders were hunched over. I had a beanie covering all of my hair and face. I was ashamed to be there at that moment. No solutions were available to me, and I felt like a fucking bum.

The same woman who helped me a year ago took one look at me and told me they would close in five minutes. Finger pointing to the door with no emotion. It’s business.

Actually, no the fuck it’s not. It’s identity.

The first scenario, I behaved like someone who belonged there, and a year later I showed up like I was someone who hadn’t bathed in days (and that wasn’t even the case. It was the first night in a while I had nowhere to land, and I felt like a failure and hypocrite).

I could be a lame-o and blame my budgeting failures, the “bi-polar” actions of the woman who worked there, hell, Donald Trump, even though I don’t think he was president back then. The point is no circumstances were to blame in either scenario.

Looking back, I can clearly see the stark difference.

How to Improve Self-Concept

Well, it’s honestly simple when I say just fucking love yourself. I mean, what is really wrong with you? You spend every waking moment with yourself, so it’s like high-key insane to hate who you are. Lol, what the fuck. I get insecurities and shit, but damn, don’t be a shady bitch to yourself.

And if that isn’t a great enough sales pitch, I will talk to you directly. You have no fucking choice but to see yourself as an amazing person because everything in your world follows the leader, and baby, the leader is you.

I understand that they don’t teach this in school, but fundamentally everything outside of you is dependent on your relationship with yourself. The more you behave like a person worthy of participating in life, life will play with you.

Now you can go back to the level framework and use them all in order. Think great thoughts about yourself, only highlight cool things you like, and if there are none, get to know yourself better. Please, it’s worth it.

Then do things that make you feel good. Listen to music, watch a good movie, go on a date, hit up Tinder guy, I don’t give a fuck as long as it doesn’t harm you or another, ball out. When you feel good, you can only receive thoughts that align with feeling good, such as positive thoughts, solutions, and clarity.

And then, above all, fuck the affirmations and frequently ask yourself, “Who am I being?” in relation to your desire.

Whatever it is that you desire doesn’t belong to the person you’re being now, and I can confidently say that if you don’t have what you want.

Don’t let that sentence discourage you, but excite you to become a psychotic scientist and see what variable you need to tweak to match the desired timeline.

P.S I don’t want you to be afraid of negative emotions and think they will stop you from living a great life. A negative emotion is just information, treat it as such.

You know the version of you who drives a car is different from a pilot who is carrying hundreds of passengers. Be honest with yourself, and above all be accepting of who you are. You’re doing the best you can.

I didn’t change my life by changing my circumstances.

I changed my circumstances by changing my identity

Inside out.

(everything inside is reflected out)

Let me know in the comments if this was helpful and inspired you to be the person who has the life you desire!

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I’ve just spent the last few hours riding the same ferry up and back that transported thousands of people to safety on 9/11.

Photo by Michael Mcweeny

For me, the ferry was my safety as I had nowhere to stay for a few nights, stranded in the big city. I couldn’t even afford a fucking apple. The irony? Me carrying my hundred-dollar Vans in a box, praying to God I don’t have to fight someone who is trying to jack me. I’m a California girl in New York, but I’ve seen the movies.

I was on some Anna Delvey shit, and not scamming hotels and bald rich men who ping pong in ice-white cubicles. I was trying to scam myself into believing I was ATL (about that life) when it comes to reality creation.

Money wasn’t the problem. I could receive thousands in a day on a whim. It was the inconsistency of a solid belief that this shit actually works.

I never cared for manifestation in the sense of wealth, designer bags, or having men desire me. I didn’t care to study this shit to learn how to survive in the matrix. No, no, no!

I wanted to learn how to override the fucking system.

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I dedicated ten years of my life embodying this (on and off, unfortunately) belief that we are the creators of our reality.

I was on my Anna Delvey shit because sometimes it worked and sometimes I fell flat on my face, homeless in Brooklyn Bridge Park.

It was almost a month of sleeping in high-end Wall Street hotels to chugging a Red Bull every two hours to survive another night without a shower in Times Square.

Obviously, something had to fucking give. Me wallowing back and forth between knowing and embodying was literally kicking my ass. I returned back to California several pounds lighter, but that’s not the point. The point of this story is how I got back home.

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And yes, it finally came down to the belief that we create our own reality, but it’s how we create it that a lot of people don’t know nor understand.

My last day in New York in 2023, I learned how to get out of situations I didn’t want to be in, and it’s worked for me time and time again.

So if you are actually stranded like I was, or living with people you can no longer stomach, or hate your damn job… this one is for you.

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Around here, I write about identity, awareness, manifestation, emotional architecture and all the invisible things quietly running your life while pretending they are not. I am less interested in surface level advice and more interested in exposing the machinery underneath reality.

This section is called Inside Out.

Inside Out is where I dissect the psychology of being human. The patterns. The contradictions. The emotional homes we accidentally move into and the identities we unknowingly rehearse. It is where perspective shifts become reality shifts.

Free subscribers get observations.

Paid subscribers get the blueprint.

Free readers receive the trailer. Paid readers walk backstage, sit in the writer’s room and see how the entire architecture was built. That means deeper essays, identity frameworks, original concepts, and the thoughts I save for people serious about changing the way they experience reality.

Anyway.

I recently found myself standing in an airport carrying luggage that belonged to places I was never actually going.

The airport was crowded again.

Suitcases dragged across the floor with that familiar clicking sound, wheels fighting for their lives against invisible cracks. Shoulders ached. Hands burned. A woman in the distance rushed toward Gate 14 while balancing coffee and panic. Somewhere overhead a voice announced departures no one fully listened to.

Behind me sat mountains of luggage.

One suitcase read: What if?

Another: Prepare yourself.

A large black one looked expensive but weighed the most. Across the front it said: Just in case.

There were smaller bags too. Tiny carry ons stuffed with conversations that never happened. Delayed text messages. Future arguments. Disasters still sitting in imagination waiting for approval.

A stranger walked past, looked at the pile and asked:

“Where are you headed?”

I opened my mouth.

Then closed it.

Because suddenly something felt strange.

There was no gate.

No ticket.

No destination.

Just luggage.

Just weight.

Just me dragging emotional baggage toward places that did not exist.

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Humans do this all the time. Somebody’s energy shifts and suddenly we become architects of realities that have not even poured concrete yet.

One text message turns into an investigation. One uncertain circumstance becomes a season finale narrated by fear. We receive a loose thread and somehow end up crocheting blankets from catastrophe.

Whew.

That illusion lasted years.

Because preparation disguises itself beautifully. It walks into your life wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard. It introduces itself as responsibility. It sounds intelligent. Productive even. Meanwhile your nervous system is backstage sweating under fluorescent lights rehearsing for performances that got canceled three hours ago.

Then one day I realized something that rearranged my entire life:

Meanwhile reality is sitting quietly in the corner watching you create a full Netflix documentary with three seasons and a spin off.

Because here is what people rarely realize.

Your awareness is expensive.

Attention is expensive.

Peace is expensive.

And you keep spending it on things that have never paid you back.

Because emotionally mature people understand something powerful.

Awareness is placement.

So if your awareness constantly lives in fear, control, disaster, panic, overthinking and preparation…

Eventually your nervous system hangs family photos there.

It starts decorating.

It starts unpacking boxes.

It moves in.

And now your body believes chaos is home.

Not because chaos won.

Because repetition did.

You know why I love Solar Return readings?

Because most people are standing in the middle of a room with a blindfold trying to understand why reality suddenly feels different.

Then they start blaming themselves.

Meanwhile life is literally shifting seasons around them.

Your Solar Return is not fortune telling.

It is not me saying:

“This exact thing will happen on June 18th at 4:02 PM.”

No.

It is understanding the emotional architecture of your year.

What themes are asking for attention.

Where identity is shifting.

What season your soul entered.

Why certain things suddenly feel heavier.

Why others suddenly feel easier.

Imagine driving through mountains with headlights versus driving blindfolded hoping vibes carry you.

Exactly.

People leave my readings saying:

Because once awareness lands, resistance relaxes.

And resistance is expensive.

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Decision made.

Anyway.

Back to peace.

Because I realized most of my suffering was not coming from reality itself. It was coming from my relationship with reality. Humans do this thing where we receive information and immediately move into it emotionally before it even arrives. Someone does not text back and suddenly we become directors, actors, producers and writers of a psychological thriller nobody asked for.

Maybe they are pulling away.

Maybe they are mad.

Maybe I ruined everything.

Maybe this means something.

Maybe this means everything.

Meanwhile reality is sitting quietly in the corner looking at you like:

“Girl… all they did was take a nap.”

Humans are incredible. Not because we think. Because we commit. We commit to possibilities with terrifying dedication.

We emotionally move furniture into disasters before they even happen. We hang curtains there. We unpack boxes. We start forwarding our mail.

Then we wonder why our minds feel crowded.

You are not carrying stress.

You are carrying furniture into futures that have not happened yet.

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This piece starts with an airport full of emotional luggage and accidentally turns into something much bigger. I break down why people unconsciously move into worry, how awareness quietly becomes identity, and the reason life starts feeling heavy long before circumstances actually arrive.

Because this is why some people accidentally live inside fear and never realize they moved there years ago.

The part behind the paywall changed the way I understand composure, manifestation, and why peace has less to do with controlling reality and more to do with where you emotionally decide to live.

Keep reading. Trust me.

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Then imagine hopping out of the car and saying:

“Wow. Life is really hard.”

No baby. Life is not hard.

That is split energy.

I used to believe being responsible meant considering every possible angle. I thought maturity looked like endless analyzing. Weigh the pros and cons. Think of every outcome. Prepare for every disaster before it happens. I treated my desires like they were applying for a government loan.

You want to start the business?

Okay. Let’s discuss risks.

You want the relationship?

Okay. Let’s discuss what happened in 2017.

You want more money?

Okay. Let’s revisit every reason you have not had it yet.

By the time people finish “being realistic,” they have interrogated their desire harder than airport security.

No wonder everyone is exhausted.

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People think hard work is what drains them. I disagree. I think distraction drains them. Split energy drains them. Constantly switching awareness between what you want and what you fear drains them.

Because most people are not actually focused on one thing.

They are focused on two.

The desire and the doubt.

The dream and the disaster.

The destination and every pothole on the road.

Imagine opening forty tabs on your laptop. One tab is playing music. One tab has an article open. Pinterest is running in the background. Three videos are playing. Your email is open. Somewhere there is a tab making noise and you cannot even figure out where it is coming from.

Eventually your computer sounds like it is preparing for takeoff.

Congratulations.

Then people sit there wondering why life feels heavy.

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The problem is not that you have too much to do. The problem is your awareness became a group project.

Abraham Hicks talks about this all the time and people accidentally skip over how practical it really is. Split energy is simply awareness existing in two places at once. You want the thing while simultaneously entertaining every reason why you cannot have the thing.

You want love while preparing for abandonment.

You want money while rehearsing lack.

You want peace while emotionally subscribing to chaos.

And then people wonder why manifestation feels difficult.

You are mentally dating two realities at once.

Of course you are tired.

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Children understand single mindedness naturally. Watch a child who wants ice cream. There is no strategy meeting. There is no risk assessment. There is no conversation about market conditions and emotional readiness.

Their entire body simply says:

I want ice cream.

And honestly, children are terrifyingly committed to that reality.

Somewhere along the way adults confuse complexity with intelligence. We start believing that if we think hard enough, calculate enough, and stress enough then somehow we become safer.

Meanwhile the most powerful people I have ever observed all have the same quality.

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And I get it because I used to be one of those people too. I used to approach manifestation like I was preparing for battle. I thought if I wanted something badly enough, I needed to obsess over it. I needed to visualize harder. Script harder. Focus harder. Feel harder.

Become a full-time employee of my own desire.

Some of y’all know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve sat there at 1:00 AM listening to manifestation affirmations while simultaneously stalking movement in the 3D and checking if the universe has sent you any signs.

You become a private investigator assigned to your own desire.

Exhausting.

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Then I discovered Abraham Hicks’ concept of The Vortex, and honestly, it pissed me off a little at first because it was too simple.

The Vortex, according to Abraham Hicks, is essentially an emotional frequency.

And when you are in that emotional state, everything you want becomes available to you vibrationally. Not because you earned it.

Not because you suffered enough. Not because you completed twelve spiritual side quests and passed a final exam. Simply because you matched it.

And this is where people miss the entire point.

People hear “feel good” and think they have to become delusionally happy twenty-four hours a day.

They think they need to walk around pretending their life is perfect while internally their nervous system is filing complaints.

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But being in the Vortex has nothing to do with fake happiness.

It has everything to do with emotional availability.

Because once you enter that emotional state, life starts behaving differently..

I swear this happens to me every single time.

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That is the uncomfortable truth.

People say they want to become powerful creators of their reality, but what they really want is emotional insurance. They want proof first. They want the universe to send a screenshot before they commit internally.

Human beings treat embodiment like a customer service representative they need reassurance from every five minutes.

“Can you confirm my order?”
“Is it shipped yet?”
“Can I see tracking?”
“What if it never comes?”
“What if I look stupid?”

Meanwhile the version of them who already has the thing is somewhere in another timeline laughing softly while sipping champagne emotionally unavailable to panic.

That is the irony.

People think embodiment comes after evidence when evidence has always been the shadow casted by embodiment.

You do.

One thing I noticed about humans very early in life is that most people do not move according to truth. They move according to permission.

If their bank account says they are worthy, then they feel worthy.

If someone texts them back, then they feel attractive.

If society claps, then suddenly they believe in themselves.

People outsource identity like minimum wage employees asking reality to approve their timecard before they clock into their own life.

It is fascinating.

And honestly, a little insane.

This is why people remain stuck for years consuming manifestation content while their actual life barely changes.

They are trying to manifest while emotionally kneeling before evidence.

They say:
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

But manifestation has never worked that way.

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Honestly, the jury is still out on that one.

I used to think that because I didn’t understand the dichotomy of human beings. In the comfort of her home, around her daughter who she treated more like a best friend than a child, she would really let me know how she felt about people and life.

Then we would get around the very people she couldn’t stand and suddenly she became more than cordial and polite. She put on a whole other mask, one I didn’t recognize or like because even as a child I naturally rejected anything disconnected from truth.

Some people would later try explaining to me that shape shifting is required to survive the game of life. That you have to perform, adjust, and water yourself down to maintain relationships and opportunities.

But this is exactly what Neville Goddard means when he recites the Bible:

My mother’s personality was indecisiveness, and by the time she had me she was homeless. I grew up in instability and dangerous environments simply because the people responsible for me lived in split energy.

Of course many things contributed to my mother’s actions. Generational trauma. Racism. Growing up in a country where at the time it was legally acceptable to hate someone for the color of their skin. But I am not here to give you surface level explanations anymore.

I am here to talk about the mechanics.

Because every problem, painful experience, and destructive cycle I have ever witnessed was birthed from someone living in what Abraham Hicks calls split energy.

And I know this deeply because I lived inside the consequences of it.

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Not only am I going to explain how to become someone who experiences life with more ease, this is coming from a formerly homeless girl who reached levels of success many of her white male peers still have not experienced, but I’m also going to explain it through my original Identity Coherence Method™.

No therapist, life coach, astrologer, or manifestation guru is going to explain this to you in simple terms the way I am about to.

Because manifestation is not a magical exception to reality.

What is Split Energy?

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I wish I would have understood this earlier in my life, but honestly, better late than never.

My brother is getting married this weekend and it’s bringing me all kinds of headaches. The lack of planning, the rush of it all, and the exclusion from it makes me want to vomit. And yes, I am allowed to have those feelings, but I am no longer available to react to them.

The other day my mother disrespected me and called me stupid because she does not know how to communicate when she feels powerless. I always say she is lucky I have high self esteem because her narcissism is vicious.

Then I caught myself.

Maybe being an Aquarius, I have mastered the art of non-reaction.

People love to say Aquarius is emotionally detached, but that is not the full truth. We feel deeply. We just intellectualize what we feel instead of drowning in it. Observation is our power.

That ability to observe saved my life.

I Learned This From Survival

Growing up with a mother diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I had to watch everything.

Every twitch. Every sigh. Every shift in energy.

I was not just living, I was calculating.

I learned how to move through unprovoked aggression and gaslighting without losing myself. I learned how to survive emotional chaos without becoming it.

When your environment is unstable, your mind becomes obsessed with stability.

That was me.

In the words of Kanye West,

That line stuck with me for a reason.

The Truth That Changed Everything

Earlier this morning I was listening to an Abraham Hicks video about being disrespected.

And what was said shifted everything:

No one has the power to disrespect you.

Let me say that again so it actually lands.

No one has the power to disrespect you.

And I know that might sound crazy, especially if you’ve ever had to hold yourself back from knocking someone upside the head for coming at you wrong. Trust me, I get it.

But I am about to double down on this.

A quick pause before you keep reading.

If you’re sitting here thinking, “I just want to know what actually works for me so I can make money,” this is exactly what I do.

I don’t give you random business ideas. I don’t tell you to follow trends or copy what works for other people.

I look at you and tell you:
what you should be selling
how you naturally attract money
and how to turn that into passive income that actually works

This is personalized, not general.

You’ll get:
a clear breakdown of how you receive money
aligned passive income ideas based on you
and the exact steps to start now

The investment is $650 and you can make payment plans if needed.

Sign me up!

Now back to what you already paid for.

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They are not in my hands yet. I cannot see them. I did not pack them. I do not know who prepared them or what path they took to get ready for me.

And still, I am walking with complete certainty that they are mine.

There is no anxiety in my body. There is no checking the app every few seconds. There is no questioning if it is real. There is no need to confirm something that has already been confirmed.

I am simply on my way.

That is manifestation.

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You already understand manifestation perfectly. You just do not apply the same logic to your desires.

When you order something online, you do three things without overthinking it. You choose what you want, you pay for it, and you expect to receive it. After that, you continue living your life as if it is already handled.

You do not sit there asking how the warehouse is functioning. You do not need to see the employees picking your items. You do not demand proof every second that it is being prepared.

You trust the process because you completed the transaction.

Now ask yourself why that same certainty disappears the moment your desire becomes money, success, love, or a new life.

Let me simplify this in a way that removes confusion completely.

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reality is not happening to you — it is happening from you.

Most people never reach this point.

They keep trying to “attract” what they want like they’re waiting to be chosen by their own desires.

They keep treating life like a slot machine instead of a mirror.

But the moment you understand that your awareness is the only creative force in your world, everything changes.

Not gradually.

Not eventually.

Immediately.

Reality becomes responsive.

Circumstances rearrange.

People shift.

Money appears.

Paths open.

Obstacles dissolve.

Not because you worked harder.

Not because you earned it.

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But because you finally stepped into the identity that everything you want already belongs to.

This is the architecture of instant manifestation.

This is the mechanism behind every “miracle” you’ve ever had.

This is the part no one teaches because they don’t understand the psychology behind it.

But you’re about to.

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Not because she is lucky, not because she is chosen, not because the universe favors her.

She receives because she is open.

Receiving is not a skill, a mindset, or a technique.

Receiving is a state of being, and most people have never actually been in it.

They think they have.

They think wanting is receiving.

They think visualizing is receiving.

They think affirming is receiving.

But wanting is not receiving. Visualizing is not receiving. Affirming is not receiving.

Those are all approaches to the door.

Receiving is the moment you walk through it.

The Nervous System is the Gatekeeper

Neville said imagination creates reality.

Abraham said your only job is to get into the receptive mode.

Both are saying the same thing in different language. Your body must believe you are safe enough to let good things in.

You cannot receive while bracing. You cannot receive while gripping. You cannot receive while scanning for danger or preparing for disappointment.

Allowing requires the one thing humans resist the most, which is softness.

Softness is not weakness or naivety. It is not the kind of vulnerability people misuse.

Softness is the body saying, I am not preparing for loss, I am preparing for arrival.

That is the receptive state.

Learn how to be in the receptive mode by investing in DeJunee’s monthly membership. It includes paid substack subscription, free readings, e-books, and bi-weekly video drops of me going in depth.

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Desire Is Not a Signal to Chase, It Is a Signal to Open

When you want something, your instinct is to reach for it, to strategize, plan, and figure out how.

But wanting is not a call to action.

Abraham teaches that desire is born from contrast.

Neville teaches that desire is the voice of God within you.

Both are saying that if you desire it, it already exists. Your only job is to match it.

Matching it does not mean working harder.

It means becoming the version of you who already has it. Not pretending, not forcing, not performing confidence.

Becoming.

Becoming is quiet, internal, and energetic. It is the moment you stop trying to get and start preparing to receive.

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Receiving Requires Identity, Not Effort

You cannot receive beyond the identity you inhabit.

If you identify as someone who struggles, you will reject ease.

If you identify as overlooked, you will sabotage attention.

If you identify as unlucky, you will mistrust blessings.

If you identify as someone who must earn everything, you will repel anything that comes freely.

Receiving is not about the thing. It is about…..

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It’s the most socially acceptable addiction on earth.

Blame is a drug.

Hope is a drug.

Waiting is a drug.

“Timing” is a drug.

“Signs” are a drug.

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Because if something outside of you is responsible for your life, then you never have to be.

But here’s the truth you’ve been avoiding, the one that rearranges your entire nervous system once you finally let it in:

None.

Not a drop.

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Everything you call “external” is just your identity reflected back at you in real time.

And I’m not here to inspire you.

I’m here to make this so logically undeniable that your old worldview can’t survive the next five minutes.

THE WORLD IS NOT DOING ANYTHING TO YOU — IT’S OBEYING YOU

People think life is happening to them.

It’s not.

Life is responding to:

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“You manifest from your subconscious.”

Pause.

Subconscious literally means below awaren…

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My mother literally manifested me. She wanted me by 30. I came fashionably late at 29.

When I was younger, people wanted to watch me. Some didn’t want to give me back.

Yes, I’ve lowkey been kidnapped a few times.

All because I’m so damn lovable. Even my brother was obsessed with me in his early twenties. He’s only nine years older than me, but he spoiled me like I was his only child.

I’ve had seven men propose to me. Men level up to be with me. All without trying.

When I was thirteen, my stepdad asked if I was a lesbian because I had no interest in boys.

I knew I was attracted to men, but attraction alone wasn’t enough for me to give a fuck. While other girls fantasized about weddings, I was focused on world domination.

My true love is power.

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As I got older, I started noticing how easily men fell in love with me. And as I became more known around the world, I realized women were falling for me too.

In New York, 2023, I saw a psychic who told me men and women were in love with me and I wasn’t aware because I didn’t care enough.

I wasn’t shocked. That’s been the story of my life.

It would be harder to find someone who isn’t in love with me after getting to know me.

And yes, part of that is because I’m a fucking amazing person.

But most of it is metaphysics.

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The more detached you are, the more people want to be near you. I don’t make the rules.

But you can’t just be a detached twat. You have to actually like yourself.

I firmly believe love has always been reflected back to me because I genuinely enjoy myself.

I don’t know how or why, but I was born being my own best friend. Sometimes I wonder if I swallowed my twin in the womb and my mom just never knew.

She barely knew she was pregnant with me.

I’m saying all of this to show you the outcome of the framework I’m about to give you.

I’m going to teach you how to deliberately manifest love in your life. Even from a specific person.

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I had a best friend who told me he only saw me as a sister.

Meanwhile, I was head over heels in love with him.

By the end of the month, he was my boyfriend.

I didn’t force anything. Didn’t have a conversation. Didn’t fight his decision.

And he ended up being the best boyfriend I ever had.

And I’m going to show you exactly how I did it.

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I do the opposite. I am not only really great at manifesting, I am even better at explaining how to do it. Not in a way where you receive results a year from now, or even six months from now, but today.

They say that when someone can explain a complex concept in simple terms, it is because the person truly understands it.

The mind is powerful, but it is only a tool. It is a part of the greater excellence that is YOU.

You, motherfucker, are a powerful entity.

When it comes to manifestation, which most people use synonymously with creating your reality, it’s actually very simple.

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To be honest, manifestation is not a verb. It is a statement. A state of being. Manifestation literally means obvious to the mind.

So no, you do not manifest from your subconscious, meaning “below.” You cannot create a reality from something that is not obvious to you.

Obvious means awareness.

And once you understand this, you start to see the system that is already determining what you receive, good or bad. I would prefer you use it intentionally, focused only on what you actually want to experience.

What I am going to teach you is what allowed my business to make six figures without a business degree. It is the same “technique” that allows me to travel the world in my late twenties into my thirties while most people are stuck struggling through life and calling it adulthood.

You are going to remember how easy creation actually is, because you already do it on autopilot. I am just going to show you how to do it deliberately, with ease, and most importantly, with fun.

Life feels difficult for most people right now simply because they do not understand how they are creating it.

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Say goodbye to “should” and hello to doing whatever the hell you want, when you want.

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This is how you create your reality, whether you’re aware of it or not.

Anything that has occurred in your physical reality is something you normalized. Aka, you expected it.

A lot of people think manifestation requires feeling super excited, blessed, happy, or at least “good” to attract what they want. And that’s because they’ve been told your desire matches the feeling of the wish fulfilled, which Neville Goddard teaches.

He says, practice the wish fulfilled.

But I kept asking myself:

What does that actually feel like for me?

Because it’s not just happiness. It’s not just contentment.

It’s something else.

And I’m going to tell you exactly what that is, and how to embody it so you can see results today.

I’ve lived this.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret.

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If you want to understand what that actually looks like, listen to anyone who boldly says you need to take action to manifest what you want.

That person is using only 10% of their mind.

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In my notes about reality creation, which is a topic I go deeper into with my paid subscribers, there is an important sentence:

You can, without getting out of your chair, rebuild your world by changing your level or state of being.

That, my loves, is what we call energy work. Aka some Harry Potter shit.

I have studied Neville Goddard and the art of reality creation for over a decade. I speak about this topic with authority because I have lived it.

You do not need action all the time to achieve what you want.

Most people perceive action as effort. Meaning they believe they must insert or move something in the 3D to get closer to their desire.

Now let me be clear. I am not saying action is useless.

Action is often a natural consequence of energy forming into matter. Inspired action is always dope as fuck.

But it is not required.

When you begin to use a little more of your mind, you remember something important.

Everything is energy.

Your emotions are translations of where your energy is psychologically dwelling. This is what we call your state of being.

Your awareness creates your state of being.

Your reality then reflects that state without fail.

My cheeks are warm, hotter than the rest of my body. I am flushed.

My fingers are moving a mile a minute as I think sweet thoughts about my college crush.

Here I am texting him as an older woman in her late twenties. I am different now. I know better.

He is texting me a lot, and my thoughts align with that reality.

Then something shifts.

Maybe I got distracted. Maybe I surrendered to our old dynamic.

My finger slipped across the screen.

Message sent.

He responds with a defensive attitude that instantly changes the mood from blue to green.

This motherfucker blocked me.

The old dynamic entered the chat.

But I was not threatened.

Because he was texting a version of me that uses more than 10% of my brain.

I was excited. Adrenaline pumping. Confident in my approach to my old college crush.

But more importantly, I was aware of my energy.

My reaction would determine the state I stayed in.

If I reacted defensively, I would prolong the dynamic.

But if I chose not to react and instead focused on a better feeling thought, I could create a new one.

In what felt like a split second, but was probably three minutes, I chose to stay positive about the exchange.

I had one deliberate thought:

“He’ll be back.”

LOL.

I did nothing wrong, so why would I react like I did?

Three minutes later he texted me again.

Not only did he text me back, he apologized for reacting in a way that was not fair to me.

Now y’all.

I did not ask for that text.

I did not force it out of him.

And honestly, I was not even expecting it.

I simply chose to elevate how I felt by detaching and focusing on what I wanted.

And what I wanted was to keep feeling good about myself.

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When you know how to control your emotions and direct your focus, which is something I teach and practice myself, you gain something powerful.

Influence.

Not only over your reality, but over how others show up in it.

So I am curious.

Has there ever been a moment where changing how you felt ended up changing the outcome of a situation?

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